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I like things to be perfect. Well, I use to at least. I wanted to be the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect role model, and well, the perfect Christian.
I’ve often used Colossians 3:23 to justify my thoughts and perfectionist habits. The scripture reads:
“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”
Somewhere in between my inability to be perfect and God’s infinite wisdom and perfection, I began to crack, break even. You see I wasn’t working for the Lord, I was working for myself. I would lay in bed at night and think of everything I did wrong in the day. This habit left me feeling tired and extremely insecure.
One day I was at a friend’s house, she was rambling about something. I was barely listening because I wanted to have the perfect response when she finished talking. Then, time slowed down and she chuckled and said, “but His grace, His grace covers me.”
I know the scriptures, I know all the songs, but when my friend said those words I grabbed a hold of them and thought about them for days. The time finally came before bed, and I knew I had a decision to make. Was I going to beat myself up like I always had or was I going to give God my perfectionist habit?
I clenched the covers and pulled them over my head and murmured, “I’m sorry Lord, I repent for trying to be perfect in everything and not allowing your grace to cover me.”
It’s been been a couple weeks since I prayed that prayer, I haven’t completely gotten over my bad habit, but now I simply remind myself that his grace covers me. That same grace that covers me, covers you.