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I’ve found myself a bit nostalgic lately, as I always do this time of year. I think it’s a combination of the end of the holiday festivities and the beginning of my only son’s birthday festivities. And this month, my little Finn is 7 years old.
The night of his birthday, I always think back to his first night in my arms. I remember his cry in the middle of that night and holding him and being able to calm him. I was so shocked that I was able to be what he needed. And I was in awe that he wanted me. That was the moment I fell in love with my little boy.
There have been so many moments in the last 7 years, where I have fallen more and more and love with my Finn. And I’m still shocked that I am able to be what he needs. And still in awe that he wants me.
For much of my adult life I didn’t think that I wanted children. I was certain that I wouldn’t be a good mother. I saw all of my faults as reasons why I would be incapable. But now, I feel that being Finn’s mom is what I am best at.
I’m not the best mom in the world, not by a long shot. But I am the best mother for Finn. And I believe this with all of my heart. God gave him to me because He chose me to be his mother. (I warned you that I was a bit nostalgic.)
I wasn’t always so confident. There were times when I doubted decisions. Should I really be a working mom? Should I have nursed longer? Are we choosing the right school? And there are many people with differing strong opinions to those questions and many more.
But every family is different. And what works for me, might not work for you. I believe that only you can make the right decisions for your family. You pray about it. You read the Bible. You talk with Christian friends and family. But in the end, you have to let the Holy Spirit guide you to the right decision for your family.
There is no shortage of “mommy guilt” in our world. But God chose you to parent your children. Trust Him to guide you. And trust yourself.
