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Does this sound familiar?
I recently read the results of a study that revealed parents-to-be take up to 45 hours to decide what to name their baby. Forty-five HOURS! Thankfully, it didn’t take us that long to come up with “Gus” (we named him after my grandpa), but his arrival certainly has illuminated how easy it can be to agonize over decisions, since there are now SO MANY MORE baby-related ones in our lives. And this has illuminated the amount I’ve allowed fear to creep in.
You know fear. It can also be disguised by the names “worry”or “anxiety.”Becoming a mom tapped into this part of me in ways I was not quite ready for. Of course, when Gus was born, I was overwhelmed with ALL the feelings, so excited to finally meet him and so thrilled to be a family of three! But I was also weighed down by the heaviness of fear. Taking care of a life is such a huge responsibility! What if I do it wrong? What if he gets sick or hurt? What if he never stops crying or never learns how to sleep? What if I feed him too much or not enough? What if I go back to work and everything falls apart? What if I’m too tightly wound and too strict? What if I’m too loose and not structured enough? What will people think of me as a mom??
All of these “what ifs”made me realize just how easy it is for me to focus on my fears. My worries and doubts, my desire to do it “right”and be the “best”mom. I DO want to be the best mom I can be, but I realize that isn’t defined by the perception of others, or by a how-to guide for new parents or how much our baby eats, cries and sleeps. It’s defined by being faithful to God’s direction, and His plan for Gus (and his parents, the ones He chose for Gus!).
2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”(NKJV)
God’s promise is true. When I feel those worries and fears start to creep in and cloud my ability to make a decision, I meditate on this scripture and trust that God has given me the sound mind needed to follow His lead, and the love to put that into action. I may not be as quick with decision-making as I’d like, but I’m learning to be quick to turn to the Lord and trust in His faithfulness.