I prayed for this

Prayed for 12 times.


Please pray for my family and I. I feel so emotionally numb and detached. My spouse and I seem to can't see eye to eye after 20+ years of marriage. We fight constantly for last 8 years. Every time something comes up, he tricks my family in thinking I have a mental problem. I have been in several psych facilities in past, I see someone outpatient and she just think its stress overload/cant find a real diagnosis. Why??? because I'm numb and hurting from the verbal and emotional abuse in my home. I tried to go to counseling, we only went to one session and it went bad. He feels he doesn't need a psychiatrist, its all me.

I'm trying to be the Proverbs 31 wife, but I don't know how long or how much more I can last. I go to work, home, tend to kids, homework, clean/cook and bed. When he cleans/cooks, its thrown in my face for "Brownie points". I feel I have no energy when I get home, and get the worst migraines. I have no desire for intimacy anymore and that put a BIG dent in our marriage. I feel there has been infidelity in our marriage because he is hypersexual and very secretive, but I could be wrong. Just afraid for revelation, but I'm so tired, I'm ready already! I try to connect, but there's never a connection on my end. I feel like I give give give, and left empty and dry. I don't want to offer breadcrumbs. We're definitely not equally yoked. Are we growing spiritually apart? I know God honors marriages and hates divorce. He has threaten me with a divorce 3 times. I never wanted one, he would always threatened to take our kids away from me or I'll never see them again if I even decide to leave. I feel confused, lost, stuck, discouraged, little faith to almost none. But I know God has been so faithful in other areas of my life. Also please pray for our kids. We have 4. Just for God to lead them, I don't want them to go astray with them being exposed to the fighting and abuse that goes on. One is struggling with identity issues and another their purpose and has no desire to do anything anymore. We go to church as a family and when we get home seem like all hell breaks loose, but I'm trying to be the glue that keeps everyone together. Please help me with direction with my purpose, direction, strength, discernment, wisdom and peace that surpasses all understanding. I'm running on fumes. Jesus please have your Hand on This Wheel! Pray for the Body of Christ, all marriages, all kids, the oppressed, the sick, and our nation as a whole. and for God to move here. Thank you so much. I'm desperate and drained.

Received: November 5, 2021

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