I prayed for this

Prayed for 8 times.


i've reach my breaking point. I am just a body surrounded but i'm not present. My marriage is basically done. I honestly don't know if i want to stay. I didn't feel so low -until 2 months ago. Our verbal fights started really hurting me emotionally. The last two arguments my husband said he rather something else, he didn't love me. Why do I stay??? i go to sleep after i shower and cry. I wake up the next day and i feel my heart growing cold. Today my son & I went to another church just him and I. I smiled for the first time. The people there were so nice. The way they looked at me with love and a smile. Is something that i haven't encountered in so long. I come home and i automatically feel a knot in my throat and i just want to lay down. I don't really talk anymore... why?? because i feel my words are not valuable. I don't have it in me to keep fighting . My husband doesn't care... i'm holding back tears and feel tightness in my throat. Waiting for night to fall so i can drink some pm tea and go to sleep. Wake up tomorrow -go to work. Repeat. numb... just a body walking the city

Received: October 10, 2021

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