I been struggling thinking about my dreams and desires. I been thinking about what i have now and how much for granted i been taking everything i have and not being proactive because of doubt. The disre and fire to grow has been tough on my own, and stepping out in faith. I think a lot of my future where i am, what i hope to have but deny myself out of fear. Think of a lot of bad things to happen to me. To go into dark places, because of i guess of not getting hope, to not get disappointed. I look at my brother and sister and see how well they are doing, and when they have a downfall i feel better of myself. Mentally stuck in a routine cycle, with long days that I get mentally drained from and even days off i mentally drain myself.
The feeling of just settling with this old job feeling like i don't have a choice, but mentally burnt out of the one I hoped transiting too. Then my co-depedency, but keep close my support in god and who ever he uses.