Anonymous
I need God!! I need him in all areas. I want his perfect will for my life, not permissible. My marriage has reached its final breaking. The more I try to serve, get closer to God, the more my husband throws things in my face(verbally) from months years before. I think I am done. I work full time hectic; we have service during the week. Before I would go home after work, cook and watch my favorite sitcom. I started being more intentional and no matter how tired i was, or if I had things to do, I would go to church still in my work uniform. A few weeks ago, our ministry was down vocals, I was to fill and help with harmonies, our leader was heavy also. No list was made but in my heart was the intention and placed to go, to go no matter what. We have to move forward. As I was leaving, he bickered, the night of the service he said oh so now you're going when before you wouldn't. So, it's those comments and petty arguments that have - I'm just over it. He's good at passing as the nice, sweet, calm husband but in reality, to me he's different. We both came into the marriage with kids from previous relationships. He's an amazing dad to his son in some ways-he's not the sole parent and I see now why. To my son I'm starting to see his indifference. I feel like im dealing with a covert narcissist. I feel confused. But I just need God to bring me peace, wisdom, courage. If it's will that I stay for him to give me peace and work not only in me but also in him. He refuses to seek help or counsel. If it's not his will- then by the 6-9-23 he himself ends it, tells me he's done with me, my son. That will be it for me. I don't' want to make a move unless I hear it Boldy-to where i don' have a second guess. I apologize for the lengthy request